Pete Wentz walked into the dorm, holding the day's mail and looking incredibly smug. Or as smug as he could look with a missing front tooth."What the fuck is your problem?" Matt snapped, looking up from a textbook."What? I'm not allowed to be happy?""You aren't happy, you douche. Plus, you're Pete fucking Wentz, you're never happy. You kill yourself or some shit. So what gives?""Grade reports," Pete said, tossing two envelopes in Matt's lap. "So?""I want to see Tony fail. It will make me so fucking happy." Matt glowered."He didn't fail. Go the fuck away." Matt opened his letter and looked at it."Did you fail?""Of fucking course not." Pete pouted. Matt opened Tony's."Did he fail?" Pete asked, bouncing on his toes."I already told you he didn't," Matt said, tucking the letter in his book. Pete turned around and when Matt looked back at his homework, Pete spun and grabbed Tony's letter."WHAT IN HELL?" Pete shouted. Matt stood up and snatched the letter out of Pete's hands."You better be glad I don't feel like killing you right now," Matt said."I think you're all talk anyway," Pete said. Matt took a deep breath."No, I'm not. But I am wearing a fantastic sweater right now and I don't want to dirty it with your blood.""You are trying to distract me!" Pete shouted. "What the hell was with Tony's grades?""What? Shut up.""No. No, I bust my ass going to class and learning and doing things and I make passable grades. Tony hasn't stopped jacking off since he got here and I'm pretty sure he attended one class and got kicked out of it. And how the fuck is he on the Dean's list?" Matt looked at Pete impassively. "Why do you care?""Because it's not fair.""Oh shove it up your ass." Pete gasped. "What? I'm sure it's not the first thing that's been up your ass.""You!""What me?" Matt asked. "This is tiresome.""You went to his classes! You made the Dean's list for him!""What are you talking about?""Tony doesn't even know what class is. He's certainly never been to one long enough to pass. You. I will fucking go to the Dean about this!""And I'll kill you.""No," Pete challenged. "I don't think you will." Matt took another deep breath."I will. Believe me. You say so much as one word-" Pete smirked."I won't. As long as Tony starts going to class like everyone else.""Pete Wentz, I don't know if you'd noticed or not, but most kids here don't go to class everyday. In fact, I would say most kids here don't go to class any day.""That's too bad for them," Pete said. "And also for Tony. Because now he has to go everyday or I swear I will go to the Dean and you will both get kicked the fuck out of here. And my life will be awesome!""Your life will never be awesome," Matt said, "because you will always still be in it.""Ah ah, Matt. Be nice, I hold your future in my hands." "No, you don't.""Oh, I do. And I will have so much fun fucking it up.""Fine. He'll go.""AHAHA, fucking sucker. Oh, I win. I win so hard. I win so hard I could fuck you with myself." Matt looked at Pete."That doesn't even make a little bit of sense. Get the fuck away from me.""I win!"Matt punched Pete in the face. Pete gaped."What did you do that for?""Well, at first it was just because you were an asshole. Now it's because you ended that with a preposition and it offended my ears. And also because I fucking hate you." Pete held his jaw."I thought you didn't want to get blood on your sweater.""Well, I can hit you a lot of times before you bleed, Wentz," Matt said. Pete's eyes widened and he hurried out of the room.