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i h8 u [userpic]
by i h8 u (newtoyou)
at July 21st, 2006 (04:58 pm)

"Matty Matty Matty Matty MATTY!" Tony bounded through the door and smiled excitedly.

"What, Tony?"


"What, Tony," Matt repeated.


Tony thrust a flyer at Matt.

"Do I even want to look?" Tony nodded excitedly and Matt looked down. "Free concert on campus?"

"Avenged Sevenfold, Matty!" Tony shouted. "OH YES!"

Pete walked in the dorm, wrapped in a towel, a hand clamped over his eyes.


"Do you swear to Johnny Christ?" Tony asked.

"Shut the fuck up. I swear, if there is sex happening in here, I will shoot you both."

"Shut up, Pete Wentz," Matt said. Pete slowly uncovered his eyes.

"Alright. Then what was all the shouting about?"

"AVENGED SEVENFOLD!" Tony shrieked.

"Okay." Pete pulled a t-shirt on.

"OH NO," Tony called, grabbing Pete's arm.

"AH! What the hell?" Pete yelled.

"Do you have a deathbat?" Tony asked accusingly, looking at Pete's stomach.

"No, it's a-"

"I don't care what it is, as long as it's not a fucking awesome deathbat. I didn't want to think you might actually like something cool for once."

Pete frowned and adjusted his Hawthorne Heights t-shirt.

"You are an asshole," Pete said, pointing at Tony.

"Oh, it is so rude to point at people! Tell him, Matt!" Tony said.

"It's not that rude, Tony," Pete said.

"Shut up, Pete Wentz. Nobody asked you!" Tony shouted.

"Pete Wentz, stop getting Tony all worked up. Why don't you go the fuck away?"

"I don't think I have to go anywhere. This is my room too," Pete said, sitting on his bed. Matt scowled.

"Will you at least put some fucking pants on?"

"Tony never wears pants," Pete pouted petulantly.

"Look, Tony's not a disgusting mutant. Put some damn jeans on." Pete made an ugly face and went back to his closet to finish getting dressed.

"Anyway," Pete said, once he had finished getting dressed, "Avenged Sevenfold are not even that awesome."

"How would you know?" Matt asked. "You wouldn't know something awesome if it bit you on the ass." Tony chortled.

"Look, I know things that are awesome," Pete said.

"Right," Tony agreed. "Like, you know me. And I am definitely awesome." Matt nodded.

"Good point, Tony."

"How lame do you think I am?" Pete asked. Matt scoffed.

"You are not lame, Pete Wentz. You are way, way past lame. You are so far past lame that you can't see lame if you're looking behind you. Lame is a thousand miles back, hitching on the side of the road. And here you are, way, way past lame."

"I hate you."

"I don't care. You don't even understand the heights of my not caring. There is no limit to how much I don't care. Why don't you die?"

Pete stomped out of the room and Tony bounced.

"We're going to the concert, right Matty?"

"Of course."

Tony squealed.

"Will you give me make up?" Tony asked.

"Of course."

"Will you give me a blow job?"

"Don't push it."